Take one step forward, and you're a better person.
Pythagoras Switch.
Um...
Still working on that.
And just why one would put air in a chestnut.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Pythagoras Switch.
Um...
Still working on that.
And just why one would put air in a chestnut.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Stegosaurus never watered his lawn, either
I need to mention it again.
I am in Iowa December 20th through January 5th.
I plan on seeing Nick.
I plan on seeing Bil.
I plan on seeing the Amesons.
I will also make out with everyone...minus Wes. Amish is flat out.
I am in Iowa December 20th through January 5th.
I plan on seeing Nick.
I plan on seeing Bil.
I plan on seeing the Amesons.
I will also make out with everyone...minus Wes. Amish is flat out.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
As if Portal wasn't nifty enough...
One day, I'll stop linking vids and actually post something.
But until that day...
I shall link vids until I post something.
Monday, December 17, 2007
modern-day oregon trail
Go west young man!
I played. It was amusing. I lost Tim in las vegas though... sorry tim, but not before you managed to pass out once, and lodge a gummi bear up your nose. Wes manifested a total of $40 bucks along the way as well.
I played. It was amusing. I lost Tim in las vegas though... sorry tim, but not before you managed to pass out once, and lodge a gummi bear up your nose. Wes manifested a total of $40 bucks along the way as well.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
The strangest spam/junkmail ever
I just checked my old pharaoh email addy and had the strangest spam/junkmail I've ever received.
From: George Jennifer
Date: Dec 16, 2007 10:06 PM
Subject: I learned what girls do on a farm. DO NOT leave them there abandoned!
To: jonsmith@msn.com
Don't leave your woman on a farm alone. She may replace you with animals and you will be way out of the competition for the rest of your friendship. I learned it the hard way. Here are the details: http://deanna.shawnazplace.com/xfga27015/
Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.
From: George Jennifer
Date: Dec 16, 2007 10:06 PM
Subject: I learned what girls do on a farm. DO NOT leave them there abandoned!
To: jonsmith@msn.com
Don't leave your woman on a farm alone. She may replace you with animals and you will be way out of the competition for the rest of your friendship. I learned it the hard way. Here are the details: http://deanna.shawnazplace.com/xfga27015/
Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Bizzaro Dream Theater is not brought to you tonight by drug abuse. Drugs, there not just for breakfast anymore.
So like the many others who have shared dreams with us all, I submit to you this little nugget of mind fucking. Now please keep in mind that I've not personally had a dream this messed up since going through that special time when the hormone fairy decides to visit and turn your life into a living "emo" hell for several years. Don't worry Ryan, you'll get your testicles dropped soon, I'm sure the fairy didn't forget you, she just misplaced your address.
Now I'm sure everybody has seen the movie "300". Or at least seen the trailer enough times. And I hope everybody is familiar with the story of "Romulus and Remus", the roman rulers nursed by a wolf after being left for dead. Finally I hope everybody has an idea of H.P. Lovecraft type creatures. This dream is not for the faint. If you are easily disturbed then proceed no further, or if you like it like that, then I hope this dream haunts you as well.
With the mood set, let us begin.
In a tall roman forest, on a humid afternoon, we come upon the cast of "300" making camp. King Leonidas stands before two forms. Hairless, fleshy forms with woven bodies and human limbs. Their heads are fleshy, wrinkly worm shapes with no eyes or necks to speak of. Giant, toothless maws open to expose long black tentacle tongues searching for sustenance. "I must feed them", is all the king says. The tentacles grope around his ankles and squirm their way up his thighs. The king lifts his uniform to reveal not a penis but a fat lipped vagina. The tentacles snake inside him and the mouths latch onto his flesh. "YES, FEED!"
I wake up.
I'm afraid to sleep.
Or watch "300" again.
Now I'm sure everybody has seen the movie "300". Or at least seen the trailer enough times. And I hope everybody is familiar with the story of "Romulus and Remus", the roman rulers nursed by a wolf after being left for dead. Finally I hope everybody has an idea of H.P. Lovecraft type creatures. This dream is not for the faint. If you are easily disturbed then proceed no further, or if you like it like that, then I hope this dream haunts you as well.
With the mood set, let us begin.
In a tall roman forest, on a humid afternoon, we come upon the cast of "300" making camp. King Leonidas stands before two forms. Hairless, fleshy forms with woven bodies and human limbs. Their heads are fleshy, wrinkly worm shapes with no eyes or necks to speak of. Giant, toothless maws open to expose long black tentacle tongues searching for sustenance. "I must feed them", is all the king says. The tentacles grope around his ankles and squirm their way up his thighs. The king lifts his uniform to reveal not a penis but a fat lipped vagina. The tentacles snake inside him and the mouths latch onto his flesh. "YES, FEED!"
I wake up.
I'm afraid to sleep.
Or watch "300" again.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
crazy!
Dave! you may have seen this before, but what does the end of this 2007 Dinosaur Comic remind you of?
I kicked his ass with a pound of gummy bears
Not really. But...yeah. Complete and total disappointment was had yesterday when my partner told me his computer crashed the night before. Then, THEN, he sends me a video of a project he was "working" on and wanted to turn it in for our project.
Fuck that.
Here's what an overnight binge can produce:
Theres so much stuff missing, but this is what the teacher told me to do to get some sort of grade. We will see what happens.
Fuck that.
Here's what an overnight binge can produce:
Theres so much stuff missing, but this is what the teacher told me to do to get some sort of grade. We will see what happens.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Dereliction of Duty
Dear Blog: did you know that I am right now sitting in a computer lab administering a final exam for my freshman comp students? Yes, it’s true, yes, yes, I am reading Attic Apartment while they toil away on their keyboards, trying to impress me, not understanding that by this moment in the semester I am so bored with teaching and so giddy with the taste of freedom that I would classify almost anything as A-grade writing. I am reading a great book and smelling sort of bad and there are only two students left in here by now, 8:31 AM (from 7:30 AM), one of them my very best student, who will probably fret about her essay so much that we’ll both be here until we’re kicked out in an hour’s time. Here is an observation for you, something I’ve learned from teaching: almost all students either worry excessively over something they’ve done well in the first 15 minutes, or confidently toss a haphazard jumble of words into my lap.
I am reading a great book right now. What book is it? It is this one. It is a retelling of the Frankenstein legend, with the conceit that instead of an ogre-ish man, the monster is a sex-crazed and intelligent blonde woman. (Now that I’m writing this, I realize she reminds me of the character Eliza in the Baroque Cycle. Maybe this kind of character keeps popping up in the literature of male writers because of a need to create such a perfect woman.) It’s great great. I almost gave up on it but over the weekend while sitting in a coffee shop with Sarah and eating tuna sandwiches and drinking coffee I grew bored with editing and pulled it out and that’s that.
Previously I had decided that I no longer write on the AA because I had left whatever spark of inspiration or motivation I used to enjoy in the cubicles of Iowa Vocational Rehabilitation Services, but now I realize only too late that the only inspiration necessary is sleep deprivation.
These are my holiday plans: at some point I will be gone to Minneapolis. After losing a Twister marathon Sarah agreed to come with me for Christmas and so will be in Albia, staying at my parents' house, for at least 30 hours surrounding that damnable holiday.
I am reading a great book right now. What book is it? It is this one. It is a retelling of the Frankenstein legend, with the conceit that instead of an ogre-ish man, the monster is a sex-crazed and intelligent blonde woman. (Now that I’m writing this, I realize she reminds me of the character Eliza in the Baroque Cycle. Maybe this kind of character keeps popping up in the literature of male writers because of a need to create such a perfect woman.) It’s great great. I almost gave up on it but over the weekend while sitting in a coffee shop with Sarah and eating tuna sandwiches and drinking coffee I grew bored with editing and pulled it out and that’s that.
Previously I had decided that I no longer write on the AA because I had left whatever spark of inspiration or motivation I used to enjoy in the cubicles of Iowa Vocational Rehabilitation Services, but now I realize only too late that the only inspiration necessary is sleep deprivation.
These are my holiday plans: at some point I will be gone to Minneapolis. After losing a Twister marathon Sarah agreed to come with me for Christmas and so will be in Albia, staying at my parents' house, for at least 30 hours surrounding that damnable holiday.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
STEP DOWN, COLONEL SANDERS!
I couldn't stand to open the blog to the Colonel one more time. His beady eyes staring at me to eat his hormone injected chicken and to listen to the holiday bliss co-provided by RCA records.... *quiver* it keeps me awake it does.
So. December 20th, I will be back. Again. From previous experiences I realize I have to mention that every time I post because I will get the question a few times. Inform Ryan, too, since he will obviously blow me off (not literally, perverts) for his "addiction." That still sounds ambiguous.
Anyway, what is going on for Christmas and New Years? I will NOT be associating with the League of Exes because I have washed my hands of that and changed companies, but the outer rims of said League may be lightly glazed. I promise, too, not to get a goiter or weird iron buildup, either, so I will be able to get drunk at some point.
Other news: my production team partner has done all our work, all the rendering, and all the not turning in of work this quarter. I am not happy about it. If I do not get anything from him by the tolling of 11 pm tonight, there will be an asswhoopin' somewhere with my girly hands a'slappin everywhere and some biting, and maybe my signature "Trot". Believe me: this has defined procrastination and/or lying to an extent no one should suffer, especially in the 3rd-to-last quarter of school.
Gah.
So. December 20th, I will be back. Again. From previous experiences I realize I have to mention that every time I post because I will get the question a few times. Inform Ryan, too, since he will obviously blow me off (not literally, perverts) for his "addiction." That still sounds ambiguous.
Anyway, what is going on for Christmas and New Years? I will NOT be associating with the League of Exes because I have washed my hands of that and changed companies, but the outer rims of said League may be lightly glazed. I promise, too, not to get a goiter or weird iron buildup, either, so I will be able to get drunk at some point.
Other news: my production team partner has done all our work, all the rendering, and all the not turning in of work this quarter. I am not happy about it. If I do not get anything from him by the tolling of 11 pm tonight, there will be an asswhoopin' somewhere with my girly hands a'slappin everywhere and some biting, and maybe my signature "Trot". Believe me: this has defined procrastination and/or lying to an extent no one should suffer, especially in the 3rd-to-last quarter of school.
Gah.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
WWIII is but a caucus away
The president also said that the world would agree with his message that Iran shouldn't be let off the hook yet.I checked the Drudgereport this morning to find his top story was titled "WWIII on Hold?"
My first thoughts were, "What the fuck? When did World War III start? Is it possible I missed the start of a global conflict? Have I been that drunk lately?" but no, I was just reading the conservative news. I should have known.
You may be wondering why I was reading the conservative news, and I'll tell you: Because its a whole lot more exciting, and they post football scores in an easy-access fashion. (By the way, Baltimore nearly beat New England last night. New England came back with a touchdown in the last 44 seconds. It would have ended an 11 game winning streak.) The conservative news is also a place where I can go if I want to find out approximately how close we are to starting another conflict. Judging by the rhetoric in the air there this morning, I'd say we've got less than a year.
Really, I don't know why you'd want to read any non-conservative news. All the other, sane news people are covering shit like global warming, world elections, the housing crisis and, you know, other boring shit like the cock-asses.
Speaking of those cock-asses, has anyone else noticed that we have a hypothetical question being solved right before our eyes? Hadn't you ever wondered if Americans would rather see a black man or a white woman president? Well now we're going to find out!
I'm betting on black.
Monday, December 03, 2007
I like this one better
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Sunday, December 02, 2007
