From below the Lookout Mountain

Seven fucking states, you can see seven states from Lookout Mountain, Tennessee. See them! Yeah, I can't tell either. Without black dividing lines and multicolored paint, it all looks the same.

I wish I had more pictures to back this up (maybe Tim will post some soon), but everything from Iowa to Northern Tennesse looks pretty much the same. It isn't until about Nashville that things start looking a little hilly and then, holy shit, we're driving through mountains. I''ve never been in the mountains before, and it was qute a trip. Going down the side of a mountain at 6% incline, it was like a rollercoaster between massive hills covered in trees. We found Spooky Wignall's house on Grapefruit Mountain. I think Tim has some pictures of that.

We're now in Atlanta. We haven't seen much of it, but after walking around the hotel for only twenty minutes I lost $2.25 to tricksey hobos. Those tricksey fucking hobos. Why can't the prostitutes be as aggressive as those bastards?

Hello.

Hello, Blog. Would you like something to look at? Here are some pictures:

Kevin, me, and someone else

Kevin snowed in

So damned cute!
(Amish, I mean)
(Actually, I mean me)

Goathead meancing a terrified pig

Did you know that tomorrow, at 3 pm, Goathead and I will begin a great journey to the city of Atlanta, to attend the 2007 AWP conference? You didn't?

I am not surprised.

On the drive, I'll be writing a review of a cat. It will be wonderful. I will be eating dried fruit and wasabi peas and swilling Rockstar like Amish's grandma swills ----- and typing, typing, typing. And if anybody knows of a good way to slap video (youtube or otherwise) into a blog post, I'll be f'ing with that as well.

Okay, Wellsy

Okay. In accordance with Dave's command, I have taken the wheel and will now break his three-post streak. This will be difficult, because I'm also trying to eat a grapefruit.

The grapefruit is sliced into quarters.

(edit)

God damn you, Meagan Roberts!

This post has already taken ten minutes to write, thanks to the grapefruit.

Also, this has been my desktop background for the last month:



Most people say he looks like a werewolf.

LOLI HAET PROPANE TANKS!

...bricks too.

So, this tournament that the drawing is for. Basically, this guy set up a bracket of people and we draw our entered character beating the piss out of the other one. Most creative gets to the next round till there are two left...then the shit hits the fan.

Winner gets lame stuff, but I need to release violence. I needs it.

Why I hate time travel

A baby girl is mysteriously dropped off at an orphanage in Cleveland in 1945. "Jane" grows up lonely and dejected, not knowing who her parents are, until one day in 1963 she is strangely attracted to a drifter. She falls in love with him, but just when things are looking up for Jane a series of disasters strikes: First, she becomes pregnant by the drifter, who then disappears. Second, during the complicated delivery doctors discover that Jane has both sets of sex organs, and to save her life, they most surgically convert "her" to a "him." Finally, a mysterious stranger kidnaps her baby from the delivery room.

Reeling from these disasters, rejected from society, scorned by fate, "he" becomes a drunkard and a drifter. Not only has Jane lost her parents and her lover, but he has lost his only child as well. Years later, in 1970, he stumbles into a lonely bar, called Pop's Place, and spills out his pathetic story to an elderly bartender. The sympathetic bartender offers the drifter the chance to avenge the stranger who left her pregnant and abandoned, on the condition that he join the "time traveller corps." Both of them enter a time machine and the bartender drops the drifter off in 1963. The drifter is strangely attracted to a young orphan girl, who subsequently becomes pregnant.

The bartender then goes forward 9 months, kidnaps the baby girl from the hospital, and drops the baby off in an orphanage back in 1945. Then the bartender drops off the thoroughly confused drifter in 1985, to enlist in the time traveller corps. The drifter eventually gets his life together and becomes respected and elderly member of the time traveller corps, and then disguises himself as a bartender and has his most difficult mission: a date with destiny, meeting a certain drifter at Pop's Place in 1970.

The Very Mediocre Adventure Through Pan's Labrynth

Sadness. I was all pumped to see Pan's Labrynth. And I go see it...and meh. I mean, it is good. Espeically this one part....very creative. I don't want to spoil it.

But now that I go over it...it really isn't worth all the hype I mighta been building it up to be. I like it, and I recommend it...but beh. It only ticked the taste buds. It didn't completely drown me.

Shot choices good, character development was awesome. I mean, this had everything I like in movies. Maybe I'm just complaining. I dunno. The theatre may have been to blame. They have a contrast/brightness problem there-TOO FUCKING DARK EVEN WITH BLINDING SNOW LIGHT- but oh well. I liked it.


Go see it. It's worth seeing. Just don't expect Nazis. Just blood.

WUT HAPPAN?!??

It is indeed awkward to meet your neighbors, especially when the only real interaction you have is when you awaken at 2am to them fornicating like sailors on shore leave.

So I was digging through photos on my old pc...

Poker sometime...please?

I would like to play poker someday, the thing is I would really like it if everybody could come(nick and dave via satellite). So my question is how do I make that happen?

The Blog Has Become My Gallery of Friendly Female Fatalities

One does not simply ROCK into Mordor. There are rock ballads five miles high, sheet music that plays for eons, double necked guitars that will eat any traveler whole, a maze of groupies and posers as far as the eyes can see...and mosh pit so heavily guarded by staffmen, even the hottest of goths cannot pass through it alive.

What a wonderful smell you've discovered!

Dream time! Dream time!

It's my 26th birthday and Andy decided to throw me a party. Only it's in the meeting room at the new bank in Albia...but it's where the House v1 was at. So ev'rone from Albia and Denver shows up. To our suprise, Andy has mapped out our entire history of the gang on the wall of the bank with a combination of polaroids, strings and crayons. Scrote shows up and starts tearing apart the potted plants and Lauren was there too, who insisted on sitting on my lap. Anyway, a bank teller comes and tells us that we have to leave because we are being roudy. As we are leaving, the entire Smith family baseball team is in the exit hall of the bank eating Chic Fillet. Upon saying our goodbyes, Kara (the girl I was pseudodating) shows up and she wants to help me pack so I can go back to Denver. As we are about to leave, Ryan shows up drunk with a plate of devilled eggs (iJueveos del Diablos!) and asks what he missed. We get rid of him quickly by driving him Ye Olde Auction House, which is a giant Walmart leviathan in this dream. So Kara and I drive back to denver through Cargille, which because of the below freezing temperaturs has frozen the smoke from the factory into odd geometric wonders, which we have to drive under. Kara informs me "Don't worry. If they fall, I will have about 25 seconds to avoid them." We somehow wind up going to Lenscrafters and start the procedure to get me new glasses and begin to sum up the events of the day with Kevin's grandmother and my old landlord, who was wearing a Kool-aid Man shirt...

Then Lynn calls me in the real world and invites me out to breakfast. I'm still not sure what the fuck that whole dream was about.

Hell, I've thought of doing it myself a few times. Going down to Las Vegas, hiring me a Mexicn Midget. Good times for all.

... I just don't know what to say.

ALSO: New picture on Deviantart. It is Kenny...only badass.

And the next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital...in a pile of all your mothers, girlfriends, and sisters.