What does this mean for Universal Studios?
Monday, August 31, 2009
summaries of the very vivid dreams I dreamt last night
1) Goathead is happy to see me in Iowa; won't stop throwing cockroaches at my feet.
2) Flying back to Iowa; plane lowers out of the clouds to reveal that we will make an emergency landing in Hell.
2) Flying back to Iowa; plane lowers out of the clouds to reveal that we will make an emergency landing in Hell.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Progress Report!
Just need to do lip syncing. And NO, I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE T-SHIRTS OR OTHER MERCHANDISE UNLESS I SELL IT. So don't ask.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
My Penance for Not Doing The Follies
He was about the size of an iPhone. Never shaved his face.
Look at his pissed off expression!
Monday, August 24, 2009
just a little whining
As most of you know, Sarah and I are moving, moving. Today Sarah stayed home all day waiting for someone to turn on the gas (because they operate on all-day appoitnments) instead of picking up stuff from the old apartment, and finally at five when nothing had happened asked that I call them to check. Well, I was informed that the technicians had arrived at 12:06 and the door was locked. Also, I was reminded about the $25 missed appointment charge. But I didn't miss the appointment, I said. I was there all day. The door is locked because it's an apartment building in downtown fucking Orlando, and we are three stories up. They have to do more than touch the door and run. They have to call a telephone so somebody can come down and open the door. So then they waived the late fee.
Filthy emm effers.
Filthy emm effers.
The King of Ex-Girlfriends
And none of them are mine...
I was thinking of an evil version of myself. His name would be Danny Slew. He would have a popped collar and a pimped out ride. He would be a giant douche bag. He would also have to play the role of a doppelganger and try to kill me at any given moment.
So, anyway, a song for Martin.
I was thinking of an evil version of myself. His name would be Danny Slew. He would have a popped collar and a pimped out ride. He would be a giant douche bag. He would also have to play the role of a doppelganger and try to kill me at any given moment.
So, anyway, a song for Martin.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Home
I'll be flying into Des Moines tomorrow night at 10:00 and will be around Iowa for a week for a funeral. I'm not coming back to Baltimore until the 29, so if anyone is around and feels like having a beer, give me a call or send me a text message.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wanna go Joging later?
Can you spot the three (possibly more) errors? Someone had to write up the sign, printed the sign, signed for and accepted the sign when it was delivered, and even someone would have to put up the sign in appropriate places.
And it passed all those checks? AND STILL got posted? Albia spent a lot of money on that track, but didn't spend the time to spell check or punctuate. I love being a Spelling Gnatsie.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Maybe it's not so bad I left Iowa.
After all, I did get in a lot of fights there about gizzard money.
http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20090819/NEWS/90819026
http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20090819/NEWS/90819026
The Precursor to District 9
Apparently, the Halo movie went sour and Peter Jackson sought to make this film a feature length. A lot of similarities, although I would have liked to have seen the giant cables in District 9.
Most of us have seen it. Have you?
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Including one monkey that was guarding one of the bodies of the deceased (!)
Sarah found this earlier--this is the kind of thing that happens in this city.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Dave is a shadow person!
Very fond of the post linking to the free falling tips. This might actually make me feel just the tiniest bit better about flying. Although really now it's not the fear of quick-yet-agonizingly-slow-death that freaks me out, but the fear of not knowing if I'll freak out at all. The last flights I did were so fine that I ended up staring like a kid out the window at the lights of NYC and then, on the return, the snow and gray of Minneapolis bobbing outside the wing. But what if I saunter confident onto a set of jet engines and then feel the madness creeping up the backs of my legs? It will be all the worse.
Maybe it was the gin carefully rationed out and the Pirates! books I read during the trip that kept me laid back. Certainly Goathead's musings on the possibilities of imminent doom didn't do the job.
Or maybe the free cookies, served warm by American Airlines?
Remembering that detail confirms how I will return home for Kevin's coupling ceremony, assuming I don't drive.
Wait! Here's why I posted this in the first place: No, I've forgotten.
Sarah and I are hoping to move soon. This shouldn't be a stressful freakout thing but due to real estate prices here (even in the shitty market, yes) it's still a million motherfucking dollars to rent a place. Our top choices both hover in the lower ends of the nine hundreds, and that is keeping shit reasonable. Then don't even begin to think of what it costs to air condition 950 square feet in this overbaked hell hole. We currently live in a place with utils included but as Nick can attest, it's about the size of the trunk of the Geo, a half hour drive from everywhere, and there's no door on the damn bedroom.
Wait! Here's what I wanted to say: I left my phone at work, so if you've tried to call me tonight it just means the overnight janitors are confused about the buzzing piles of student records on my desk.
Maybe it was the gin carefully rationed out and the Pirates! books I read during the trip that kept me laid back. Certainly Goathead's musings on the possibilities of imminent doom didn't do the job.
Or maybe the free cookies, served warm by American Airlines?
Remembering that detail confirms how I will return home for Kevin's coupling ceremony, assuming I don't drive.
Wait! Here's why I posted this in the first place: No, I've forgotten.
Sarah and I are hoping to move soon. This shouldn't be a stressful freakout thing but due to real estate prices here (even in the shitty market, yes) it's still a million motherfucking dollars to rent a place. Our top choices both hover in the lower ends of the nine hundreds, and that is keeping shit reasonable. Then don't even begin to think of what it costs to air condition 950 square feet in this overbaked hell hole. We currently live in a place with utils included but as Nick can attest, it's about the size of the trunk of the Geo, a half hour drive from everywhere, and there's no door on the damn bedroom.
Wait! Here's what I wanted to say: I left my phone at work, so if you've tried to call me tonight it just means the overnight janitors are confused about the buzzing piles of student records on my desk.
Dimethyltryptamine and Alien Abductions
Apparently, DMT (Dimethyltrptamine) is a chemical we make naturally in our pineal glands and they produce our dreams and imaginations. In scientific studies, repeatedly it produces alien abduction stories and near-death experiences. Here is an excerpt:
Almost half of the 60 volunteers had some difficulties during their high dose sessions, but most quickly regained their bearings and had deeply enjoyable experiences. Some sessions were so unpleasant, however, that subjects dropped out, or we asked them to discontinue. Ida hated the loss of control she felt on her low dose of DMT and withdrew immediately. Ken experienced anal rape by alien alligators, and dropped out after his high dose. Andrea bellowed NO! NO! NO! as her first high dose began She felt she was dying but did not want to let go. Continuing in the tolerance study, she worked on frightening personal issues in a successful manner, ending her morning with a blissful resolution. Lucas' heart rate and blood pressure plummeted to near-shock levels when he opened his eyes to orient himself, and saw the research nurse and me terribly transfigured. Kevin's blood pressure rose so high in response to meeting with a terrifyingly hostile African warrior queen who was outraged at his presence, that it set off piercing alarms.
Mr. Rick Strassman, everybody.
So, no, you were not abducted by aliens. You were just dreaming with drugs.
Almost half of the 60 volunteers had some difficulties during their high dose sessions, but most quickly regained their bearings and had deeply enjoyable experiences. Some sessions were so unpleasant, however, that subjects dropped out, or we asked them to discontinue. Ida hated the loss of control she felt on her low dose of DMT and withdrew immediately. Ken experienced anal rape by alien alligators, and dropped out after his high dose. Andrea bellowed NO! NO! NO! as her first high dose began She felt she was dying but did not want to let go. Continuing in the tolerance study, she worked on frightening personal issues in a successful manner, ending her morning with a blissful resolution. Lucas' heart rate and blood pressure plummeted to near-shock levels when he opened his eyes to orient himself, and saw the research nurse and me terribly transfigured. Kevin's blood pressure rose so high in response to meeting with a terrifyingly hostile African warrior queen who was outraged at his presence, that it set off piercing alarms.
Mr. Rick Strassman, everybody.
So, no, you were not abducted by aliens. You were just dreaming with drugs.
The Free Fall Research Page
Let's say your jet blows apart at 35,000 feet. You exit the aircraft, and you begin to descend independently. Now what?
A fun waste of time . . . or is it??? I wonder if there are many people paranoid enough to take their own parachutes on a plane? I could see Tim doing that. In fact, I think he's talked about doing it. Wouldn't it suck if you had the foresight to take a parachute, then after you wake up at 15,000 feet, you pull the silk . . . right into the mess of flaming wreckage falling above you. D'oh!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Saturday, August 08, 2009
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Machete
Did you know I pay membership fees to two gyms right now? Yes, it's true! And you can probably guess how many I've actually used in the last two months.
The problem with the first gym is, it is very close, and I chose it last summer when I had little money, as its fees are just over $10 each month, but its equipment is of garage sale quality and the clientele is of the sort who look likely to cough blood up on the elliptical machine's digital readout.
I have decided to cancel this membership today, after realizing that the monthly fee could have directly translated into me buying something swank (see: not a peanut butter sandwich) for lunch had I canceled earlier.
The other gym membership is in the $40s, but is much nicer, except for the Disney music that occasionally plays.
. . .
Let's all take a moment to rejoice that we have not had kids. If you sort of have kids, you can take a moment to rejoice that they are only sort-of.
If Sarah ever gets preggers it's machete time.
No, I'm just kidding, Sarah.
Just
kidding.
About the machete.
The problem with the first gym is, it is very close, and I chose it last summer when I had little money, as its fees are just over $10 each month, but its equipment is of garage sale quality and the clientele is of the sort who look likely to cough blood up on the elliptical machine's digital readout.
I have decided to cancel this membership today, after realizing that the monthly fee could have directly translated into me buying something swank (see: not a peanut butter sandwich) for lunch had I canceled earlier.
The other gym membership is in the $40s, but is much nicer, except for the Disney music that occasionally plays.
. . .
Let's all take a moment to rejoice that we have not had kids. If you sort of have kids, you can take a moment to rejoice that they are only sort-of.
If Sarah ever gets preggers it's machete time.
No, I'm just kidding, Sarah.
Just
kidding.
About the machete.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Words Used Towards My Internet Today
Fucking A
Piece of Shit
God Damn Whoremonger
Cock Mongler
Shitstorming motherfucker
Asshat
Abortion Rape
My internet works for about 15 minutes, times out for 3-10, and then works. Sometimes.
Piece of Shit
God Damn Whoremonger
Cock Mongler
Shitstorming motherfucker
Asshat
Abortion Rape
My internet works for about 15 minutes, times out for 3-10, and then works. Sometimes.
Master Data Supervisor
I saw that job title today.
Thought it sounded pretty cool.
I also thought up a song for this guy at work, but it could be applied to any creepy motherfucker you may know. It goes something like this:
I know a creepy motherfucker
he's a creepy motherfucker
you wanna see a creepy motherfucker
who's a creepy motherfucker
do you?
there's another creepy motherfucker
almost as creepy motherfucker
he's a creepy motherfucker too
if we had a few more creepy motherfuckers
we'd have a gang of motherfucking creepy motherfuckers
they'd be a creepy motherfucking crew
ta daa
Thought it sounded pretty cool.
I also thought up a song for this guy at work, but it could be applied to any creepy motherfucker you may know. It goes something like this:
I know a creepy motherfucker
he's a creepy motherfucker
you wanna see a creepy motherfucker
who's a creepy motherfucker
do you?
there's another creepy motherfucker
almost as creepy motherfucker
he's a creepy motherfucker too
if we had a few more creepy motherfuckers
we'd have a gang of motherfucking creepy motherfuckers
they'd be a creepy motherfucking crew
ta daa
Monday, August 03, 2009
