Attack of the Lego Men!!!

Thus far, the invasion has been slow, but The BBC reports of not one, but two mysterious Lego Men washing up on beaches - one in England, the other in the Netherlands.
Are these scouts, exploring Europe's beaches for up-coming invasions?
Does the strange slogan "NO REAL THAN YOU ARE" on their plastic chests mean something more sinister than we could ever possibly imagine?


The world may never know.
And if it does know, it may already be too late.



Happy Halloween.

bigger than Jesus

life is good.

Porkchop Sandwiches

'sup with you?

It's inside my head!

The Montreal Metro has an awesome and disappearing thing: the trains hum songs. I love moments of experience design built out of moments where the engine sound without this modulation would (in this case) create a humming that could drive a loaded rush hour train stark raving mad. On the other hand, depending on the song and how much of the song we get before the sequence loops, we might feel like there's a skipping record/cd, and madness ensues anyway.

Guess it is really a no-win situation.

I want to go to Montreal now to experience this for myself before these older trains disappear.

Art Dump

Because we all need to see my art outside of Deviantart.

So, as some of you may have heard, I had a possible job opportunity. The place was called Kerpoof. Needless to say, they didn't hire me. For this job, I had to venture up to mythical Boulder on a Friday. There were hippies everywhere. It was like they had a nest up there. The interview went pretty damn well, I thought. But alas, I got a rejection letter Monday morning. They needed help animating for a very large client...lets just say that they are represented by a mouse. Oh, and this "client" owns Florida. Anyway, they seemed to be needing help throughout the interview, which baffles me when the rejection letter stated they were not looking for help at this time. It's like saying "Oh we love ice cream, and we could go for some right now" and then when they are offered it they say "Oh we can't eat ice cream; we are lactose intolerant."

Bugger. And balls.

It's a thing.

Found this: Calamity Coach

It reminds me of random stories from Tim about riding Greyhound. Only more morbid, and rhyming.

It's all the President's fault, I swear!

This is based on a true story. The names have not been changed to protect anyone. Fuck them.

Friday I had to take a pt test, which consisted of a lovely little run, some pushups and situps. I don't work directly on base, but only 10 min away, and I got done at 12:10, and my test wasn't until 1:30. Plenty of time to get to base, get changed, grab a bottle of high-quality h2o, etc.
So, I get in my car, and head towards base, in noon traffic, things get backed up, and noone on the East Coast knows how to drive, so I planned on being delayed.
I pull up to base, and pull out my Navy id, which is different than my work id.
Gate Guard: Hello, how are you?
Me: Just fine, thank you.
Gate Guard: (not even looking at me or my id) Okay, you have a good day now.
Me: Um, yeah, you too. (drives on to base)

When I get on to base, I notice the main roads are cut off, and there are Army guys with 4-wheelers and M-16s all around the place.
Maybe this is Armageddon, and no one told us at the other building...? I thought to myself, wondering why the hell I couldn't drive from Ft. Meade to NSA where my pt test was.
Driving around base, and realizing that there was no way in hell I could get from one point to the other, I called the Navy barracks to see if there was something going on.

Me: Hello, this is Petty Officer Goraczkowski, I was wondering if you could tell me what's going on at Ft. Meade, every road is shut down.
Guy: Petty Officer who? Goran...Gorazj...Gork...
Me: Whatever, it's not important who I am. What's going on?
Guy: We have visitors.
Me: Yeah? Who the hell is it?
Guy: I can't tell you that ma'am.
Me: That's dumb, I probably have a much higher clearance than you do, since you're answering the phone, and you can't tell me?
Guy: That's right. Have a good day!
Me: Grrr....bye.

Driving around to the interstate took another 50 minutes, when I see the gate traffic from the NSA gate go back 2 miles.
What the hell is going on? I have 20 minutes now to get through the gate, on base, park, change, check in, etc. Yay for being late!

After going through the main gate, I talked to another security guard, who was just about as helpful as an eggplant.

Guard: Good afternoon, ma'am. (looks at badge) How are you?
Me: Running late as hell, may I ask what's going on on Ft. Meade?
Guard: You have a good day ma'am.

Alright, fuck these people.
I drive like hell to the gym, where I see a guy I know get off his motorcycle, so i ask him "Do you know what the hell is going on here? It's starting to look like an M. Night Shyamalan movie.
Guy: Yeah, the President is here.

So, I run and change, and am exactly on the dot - 1:30.

Gigantic pt test guy: Where have you been?
Me: The President of the United States made me late by delaying traffic for miles and closing down the base. Take it up with him.

I did well on my pt test.

Leopard vs Vista ~or~ Macs vs PCs

Shame on you, Willy

Halloween: Serious Business

Inevitably, this is what my character dialogue degenerates into.

Well Piss

Apparently absinthe is legal in the U.S. This just gives me an excuse to find it, drink it, and bitch on how it is not hallucinogenic.

Maybe if we get this second stimulus payment, I can properly throw my money away. Again.

a-ha

Great Scot!

First, gas has amazingly gone down to $2.88 here.
Yes.
Gas that is not $3.00

Wes, I'm sorry I didn't call you when I was in San Fran, I was only in the airport for a couple hours on a layover from Monterey to Baltimore. For those of you that haven't had the pleasure of the time-traveling cross country flight - it's a pain in the ass.
Other than that, just doing the Navy thing and I'm learning some really cool stuff.
That's all for now!

We are moved to tears by the size of this thing.

The Rise of the Buckyball

Buckyball hangliders?

Aw hell

Saw this in National Geographic in the school library while killing time today.

One is a genius, the other's insane

Orca Whales and Owls

So, since everyone's talking about dreams, I have been having dreams that I'm getting forcefully married. Then, I had a dream I was a whale boss in some 4 player game.

But enough talk.

I'm going to be back in Iowa in late December. Ali and possibly her friend Erica will most likely be making a stop before I return to Denver with them. So the question is, can we all crash somewhere? That being Ali and maybe Erika. I don't know how to spell her name right. They will be B-lining it from Texas, so crashing somewhere void of cat hair and Amish's windy pants would be nice.

There will be compensation in the form of Amish's orifices of your choosing. He just doesn't know about it yet.

Another dream, not nearly as creepy.

The other night I had a dream that I went to bed in my bathtub. I kept waking up (in the bathtub) thinking that I'd be a tired mess for school in the morning. I also remember wishing I could just sleep in my own bed. When I actually woke up I was wondering how I ended up in my bed.

A Real Email I Accidentally Today

Email from my Career Services Lady
David, do you have (your demo reel) with your name on it?
for example: vimeo.com/davidwells
~k

Hah. No. My demo has my name watermarked at the bottom. It has my name at the beginning, as well as the end. You know...with my contact information.

Something you had a problem referencing the last 4 months DESPITE having my resume, my exit information, and my business card. Lets also not forget my demo reel dvd case with the same information on both sides, too.



Seriously, if a company cannot see any of this WHITE TEXT ON BLACK BACKGROUND, I doubt their commitment to Sparkle Motion. Let alone my career.

Career Services my ...career.

Craziness

I am still alive, but crazily busy of late.

I spent the weekend in San Diego, at MerbCamp. Where I gave my first talk at a conference. It went well and I met lots of cool people and had great conversations. I think there will be video of the talk at some point if you ever become insanely bored.

This weekend I am taking a two day intensive blacksmithing class. How awesome is that?

Also, I just got back a commisioned avatar from Richard Stevens of Diesel Sweeties fame. Easily the best $50 I've blown in a while. Enjoy:

The Madness

If you can't make it to Reefer Madness, this is what you're missing . . .

For Dave

October Dreams...

So for those of you who pay attention to post about dreams, it's a third though october and I've had two dreams about cross country zombie jamboree action and one about witch hunting that took a turn that even I didn't even see coming. Who the hell has these kinds of dreams during Halloween season. I'm mean two dreams of cross country road tripping zombie killing that stared a variation of all of you that I know and then some wierd witch hunting dream. Now I'm starting to wonder if the eye in the sky is trying to tell me something. Still I hold out for the zombie uprising to put to good use all the skills from books, movies and video games. So just what it the plan for Halloween? Any where worth being?

On a side note, I'm going to try and make it to Andy's sing and dance thing on the 18th because it's the next time I have off. Anyone want to join me, order tickets now or let me know and I'll grab tickets and you can pay me back later. I'm thinking dinner first, show second and drinks after if Andy can tear himself away. Who's with me?

New word pairing of the day:

Melodious grunting. (This is what Kara called a Thousander chant (those of you who've read/who're reading Anathem will know, otherwise go here.))

I started pressing buttons and it posted nothing

I'm excited to see what happens. Hopefully it doesn't take 4 years to become a cult hit, as did the first one.

Drinking game.

Flip a coin to see which presidential candidate you're stuck with.

Take a drink every time your candidate says the word "fundamental."


Isn't patriotism fun?

Down the rabbit hole

Had a really peculiar dream last night.

I was in this smallish town that was all relatively new. Those of you who were in Ames and remember trekking into Somerset's "authentic main street" will know the kind of odd feeling of walking down a street seeing old style buildings, but knowing that they can't be more than a few years old, with uncracked sidewalks, and saplings.

I'm following a friend through this new 'old' main street. I don't really know who he was. I'm pretty sure he doesn't actually exist. We crossed a street when I noticed a pair of rails that were not quite covered by sidewalk that happened to lead through a building. Since I wasn't familiar with the town, I ask what this was all about. He tells me that this area of town used to be warehouses and factories. He tells me that a few of the buildings still exist, although they are hidden behind the new buildings. One of which is his father's old lab.

So he leads me along another set of half buried rails through an alley. The new 'old' main street style buildings hide this strange lot of tall grass, rails, strange metal and glass bubbles that ranged in size from tire to vw beetle sized. In the middle of it, was an surprisingly ornate brick octagon warehouse. Narrow rails came out from the main doors.

I was amazed by this odd lot or that I couldn't see any of it from the street. My friend was poking around at one of the bubbles and I of course was focused on the rails and what was behind the doors. I noticed that my friend wasn't too enthused to be here. I figured he'd been here so many times that it was old hat. Then I started to wander around into the grass and heard crunching sounds and something stuck in my foot (dunno why, but I was barefoot). Bones, and more bones. I don't know why I didn't notice them before, but there they were, along with skulls. That's when we freaked out, the lot was littered with human skeletons. We got the hell out of the lot back to the main street. Adrenaline wearing off, I asked him what the hell his dad did in there. Catching his breath, he shook his head and said he didn't know.

He was just as freaked out as I was, so I assume he didn't know what was going on in there. I want to go back now. Explore that place. Wonder if my subconscious will let me.

Wish I could do this in my classes

But seriously, a good idea all over the internet

Photo from the past a day part II

The Memo

I was in Dmitri's wedding this weekend, which involved some sort of bar hopping since Thursday.

I saw Weezer Sunday evening. That was beyond Jesus Tits.

I learned some interesting news on Monday: Megaman 9 allows you to buy Protoman for a mere $2.00. I have waited for this situation since 1992.

And today, I have had a perpetual headache. I also need to learn how to set my messenger services to "Away" because people continue to harass me, thinking I live at my computer. Which I usually do unless I neander away.

Is neander a word? Nee-an-dur. I usually think its sulking away and pissin' around doing something else. I could be wrong.

Tomorrow, or by the time you really read this post, I will have begun to or have already acquired my Halloween costume.

Oh yes. Life seems to be good.

Time-traveling Kevin tries desperately to explain something to a demented old scientist.

Somebody already

You've probably all seen this before
but I know what a fan of lolcats you all are.
And if you're not...well... this will fill you in on why you can't understand anyone under the age of 20 anymore.
It's not because you're getting old, well, okay, it is, but it's also because of shit like this. Hell, they've even translated the Bible into their crazy moon language.


Anyway. This shit is highly amusing shit.
Iz in ur politiks, skrewin up ur votez.

And pictures. For those of you (like me) who like pictures.





But if you listen to Monty Python's Philospher Drinking Song Bruce's Philosophers Song, you'll know he's a real pissant,
who's very rarely stable.

...and something of a utilitarian.
which is kinna cool in my book.

For Amish

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387693/

Day 5

So I'm trying to quit smoking again. I feel so silly for having quit a year and started back up. So it's day five of my journey, I've had four cigarettes since October 1st and have now gone 54 hours or so without a cigarette. This is so fucking difficult I don't remember it being this hard the first time. I'm not even sure if I hpriowpq9p15pp5fikjadfslafdsaljkladfjlhaflsadsjlajldfslifduui1325y8yeghiudskjjdfs.

Yip that last line pretty much sums up about how i feel right now.

Rasta lifestyle

Good morning, blog, and guess what I've been doing. Guess what I've been doing. The answer is playing Halo. It's been a gawtdang Halo renaissance here over the past few days. Tuesday I huffed the dust off that disco and slid it into the entertainment machine and got my ass transported back to my Edenic apartment back in the paradise of Ames, where my only concerns were whether or not I'd spent enough time drooling fiction into my computer and if we had enough beer and frozen pizza and how Goathead was faring with his assault on the enemy team's base. (Take that to mean whatever sick thing you like.)

This pot-confessing business in the sidebar sounds stupid, I know, but it's haunted me since it happened. What happened was that in a conference room where two people were talking about hookas. One of my students stopped by outside (the room is glass-walled) and I went to talk to her and when I came back they said something like, but you, are you a newbie smoker? Oh yeah, I said. Yeah, I can't remember the last time I even had a cigarette. We knew it! they said, and after further discussion I realized that the word was doobie and not newbie but I didn't know how to gracefully slip out of that situation and so let it go.

What about me begs for such identification? Is it my green suit or my leaf medallion?

Is it my Rasta lifestyle?

As some of you know, my previous plans to return to Iowa fell through. Or maybe you just know that they were in danger of falling through. The original plan was to return during the school's academic break, but I'm now training for a different position on the other side of that break that will actually give me some damned health insurance, all right. I'll shoot for December instead and so the only part of this that makes me sad is that my plans to swing through the auditorium and carry Goathead into the rafters during Reefer Madness will have to be cancelled, or at least carried out by Morgan. But seriously I do regret missing the show, particularly after my earlier VOW to make it.

Although I would like to weigh in with something timely and political I can't muster the vigor. I'm sort of in the Kevin camp, in the things-will-be-stupid-regardless camp. Or at least in the acknowledgement of the prevalance of stupid things camp. Although I plan to vote vote vote. And this year I won't write in 'Time Travelin Ross Perot.'

Sarah and I have been enjoying Universal's Halloween-themed event lately. Halloween events seem to be a good purpose for theme parks to put their resources to; if you're going to have people in wolf suits, why not send them around in the dead of night when the only light comes from pumpkins strung in trees or liquor stands or fires burning over a lake? Hell yes. I wish my everyday life was more like this.

Someone Broke Firefox

And they know who they are.

Return to form

Why?



Up until now I'd never really thought about it but Andre the Giant would be a great subject for a biographical film. He was a gentle giant who came from nothing to become a superstar. Unfortunately this is the only biography he'll probably ever get.



P.S. Wrestling is fake guys. Fake as internets.

About damn time...

All politics aside, "Punch Out!" is finally making it's way to the Wii. I'm happy. I've not had a good bout of pattern based fighting in years. Stupid AIs always having to be creative. It might be a damn good excuse to have actual physical exercise for once since I've gotten bored with Wii Sports and all other games can be played from the comfort of the sofa. Although if a surplus of money does come my way anytime soon, I'm more likely to splurge on a PS3 and all MGS games and play them straight threw front to back in order between periods of sleeping and working. All surplus cash is welcome if you wish to help me obtain this goal before I'm 30. That and if anyone has a surplus of hot Asian women just laying around. It never hurts to ask.



Oh and have you heard of the new DSi. A Nintendo DS with camera and built in memory. Although it is very tempting and the memory option will make it hard to pass up, I don't need yet another device that can also take pictures as a extra feature. All the space and power used for that function could of been used for anything way more useful. And you know it is only a matter of time before some youngster abuse it by taking pictures of his naked girlfriend and shows them around school. I'll just wait till they add a phone to it with high def screens and put it out as the DS high-def integrated telephone. Or I'll just get a fucking iPhone.



With religion aside, does anyone who lives in the immediate area have plans for Halloween? I feel like a zombie fast food worker would be welcomed at any party or bar function. Would the trip be worth the gas and money spent on booze and said costume? Damn I miss you Tim.

Engagement

News

I'm engaged.

And just to let you know how nerdy/geeky it was. I distracted Kara with pocky before popping the question.

As Kara just said: "What's even nerdier/geekier, is that the pocky worked."