Awesomesauce

Went to Necronomicon last weekend.

You shoulda been there, Nick.

Wesley and Me Disdaining You (Feel the Wrath of Our Disdain! [Where the Fuck Does that Word Come From?])

Do it, Do it

If you have a ps2 and any free time you should seriously get final fantasy 12.....I haven't been this hard in years.

Edgar Rouche is changing the lyrics!

Bring Sally up
Bring Sally down
stick it in her butt and slap her around

Wes pitying the fool, etc.

The AWESOMES of Halloween

This was my badass costume. D for Davetta. I'm so god damn clever! I had a cape, too. But then some drunken idiot puked on me. And it was ruined. Just like Christmas. I'm looking at you, Tim.


Me and Lynn went through a lot of costume hunting to get that fuckin' top. And no one really got who she was. Here she is showing off what Haruko (The guitar girl from FLCL, you uncultured swine) does to nerdy people (Trent)


And I bust out the Dihydrous Oxide with a Poohtan. Again, you are uncultured pigdogs for not knowing that reference.

I love art school for these reasons. As for the rest of your "universities?" Go to hell. And die. And get raped after you die. Twice.

Mars HIll vs Tim's Mom?

I think the choice is obvious.

A short list

Of words the flowerewolf widget gave me. http://nodebox.net/code/index.php/Flowerewolf

Kittenigma
Crotchurchwarden
Sandwichuddle
horsermons
devildoer
careeruptions

One More Night in Hollywood

Halloween is fast approaching. Yes, children, it is a week away technically. However, since it is on a Tuesday you have to really think logically that every party is going to be this weekend. Yes: this weekend. Unless you all get drunk on Tuesday and pretend to dress up, that is different. But anyway, yeah. This year, my costume is probably the most elaborate one I've devised. It's deep, too. Like Amish's Grandma or Jimmy's Colon deep. Yeah, that deep. You will see next week, when the pictures come to me. And on that myspace thing, too. I am super buzzed on coffee right now so I am rambling.

Oh, and I am the King of Hobos and the King of Nerds. Apparently knowing about how Doctor Who's canon really doesn't impress anyone.

Another Edgar Rouche poem

Eating Sushi or John’s mom?

carefully spread them out
then spread
wasabi

the hot green sauce
covers her lips
as I dive in

nibble and suck
the raw fishy
food

nourish my hunger
and delight
her senses

Mars Hill vs The Pyramids

Discuss.

Top of the mournin' to ya

That's all.

Part Jackass, Part Physics Lesson

Line Rider has an article in Time Magazine.

I wonder if ebaumsworld has stolen it yet?

You too can be a Russian.

The professor that I work with/for is such an interesting man. He showed me what my name is in Russian, and it's really neat if you have your speakers on, because there's music that goes along with it.
Check it out to see what you'd be if you were a Rusky.

Stripping for children

Something about the way this article is written amuses me greatly.

The Monsters Are All Missing & The Nightmares Can't Be Found

...wow. So much walking into that situation I did tonight.

So, back to square one.

Actually...

I'm going to do a web comic entitled: "My Best Guy Friend". It will be about me...being a guy friend to several (and I mean several) womens, who all reguard me as their best guy friend. There are guy friends, but mainly it's the girl types either hindering or helping me in my miserable life. Oh, everything is based on Denver life (minus Dana and Theresa, who aren't as Randal as the others are) Anyway, eventually I would like to have the Denver folk meet up with the Iowa folk and let hilarity ensue. Maybe, perhaps, a tournament battle involving all the females. I would just like to see Denver chicks fight The LXG.

Tiredness ensues!!!!

The Poetry of Edgar Rouche

Embalming

It would be strange
if his body came to life
right now
me here
with my dick in it.

Would it spoil his
miraculous revival?
Was the afterlife
worse than ass rape?

Would he ask me to
please stop?
Or would the
hungry zombie
take a bite
out of my penis?


Do you hear what I hear?

I think I may be living with a queer
I can hear his best friend moaning
through the wall
and it doesn’t bother me
at all.

The queers, the queers
they fuck into the night
and my ears are starting
to get used to it.
In fact I can’t sleep
without the sound
of manskin
slapping together.

It doesn’t turn me on
but its rhythm
soothes me
and rocks me to sleep
like a baby
whose parents
fuck after they put it to bed.


Hip Hip

hooray!

The drug screen came back clean.

good thing they don’t test

for stupid


Ten things I cannot go through life without

1. Love
2. The Lord’s bountiful mercy
3. Warm succulent pussy
4. Friends
5. Baby penguins
6. Summer sunsets
7. Grabbing my friends nuts and
twisting, twisting, twisting, twisting
and pulling
like taffy
and twisting, twisting, twisting, twisting
8. Good poetry read while sipping
brandy and smoking a fine cigar.
9. Hallucinogenic drugs
10. Quiet meditation while taking
a good long shit.


Ass Poetica

stinky bowels of
coffee shop
kindred poets

inky iambs on their thumbs
sticky fingers
like the sex addicts

self-copulating minds
refrain from reaching to
one another

afraid their tongues
might touch
(not to mention
more intimate parts)

like their asses

the fear of
ass touch
is immobilizing

A Chef in the Night -|- OR -|- Nightime Culinary Worker

My courting situation: Sometimes.

Blown your mind yet? Wait till the origami explodes. Seriously: I have informed someone of what's going on. The rest of you? Sometimes.

I am ansey about seeing Kelly before the Navy gets a hold of her. I only had like...3 weeks notice when I signed up. We should be thankful Kellynn has given us about 3 months.

Oh speaking of: I wont be around for Thanksgiving. I will, however, plan to be around abouts Decemeber 18th. Don't worry: The Universe, Life, and Everthing has ceased revolving around me and my magnificent glory. That does NOT, however, excuse you a-holes from seeing me when I am back. Nor does it negate you all from basking in my presence. No, not presents. I am still as broke as a joke.

I thought of an awesome slam, but no way to execute it: something to do at a bar is tell someone they are "A Dumb and Joke." Please help!

For Tim

Tim, you were the first one that came to mind on this.

Boy and his Blob and more

http://vnes.thatsanderskid.com/

go play. So many damn games, but for some reason, no tetris.

Disneyland: It's hot!

This is ...what the fuck? Seriously. What the fuck?! Is this what Sarah saw every day at Disneyworld? Something is very very very wrong, here. Seriously.

Courting rituals are awesome.

Spring is the time for . . . FUCKIN OUTSIDE.

...is basically the chorus of a song I heard played by a lone guitarist on the stage of Minnapolis's Fitzgerald Theater Friday night. There was beer for sale, but due to confusion, I ended up holding a Mountain Dew. I had this glowing neon green mug in my hand, like a jar of radioactive waste, and like radioactive waste, it was delicious.

My zombie movies for this weekend have been selected:

Heah

and

Heah

I realize that none of these were suggested, but I sort of arranged Netflix before I read the blog comments. But in the future, THESE COMMENTS WILL BE HEEDED!

I may also throw in Dead and Breakfast, Morgan's suggestion, as it has postive reviews. But that'll likely be a next-timer.

And Morgan, you're right, Emily was out of the country teaching . . . but now she's back, like Jesus, and twice as furious.

I just realized, if for some reason those Netflix links don't work, this post will be considerably less cool.

So put on your hoping hats.

Nick or WIZELLLS, I'm thinking of YOU

Quick! Who has good suggestion for zombie movies that aren't the following:

Night, Dawn, Day, Land of the Dead
Zombie
Return of the Living Dead II
Night of the Living Bread (okay, I'll take suggestions for that one)

Dave, since you mentioned courting a week or so ago, my mind is running WILD WITH SPECULATION. Any tasty gossip?

Here is some gossip that probably only Dave or maybe Nick will care about: Andy and I found out we're goign to school with Asa Plum's sister. I went to this meeting the other night and there she was, and I started talking and it became clear that she had no idea who I was, and probably thought I was going to try to hit on her.

She seemed amaze that anyone from Melrose was pursuing an advanced degree.

I found a fun toy.

A make your own Sam and Max strip over at www.telltalegames.com. So I picked some panels and put in my own dialog. They also have a Sam and Max web comic.

Behind me painstaking barons burning weed drug soldiers in huge piles of whale nets

5 hours of driving,

And all the weird stuff that happened this weekend feels like it was all dream.

I'm a little disjointed and delirious, but I'm alive, kicking and glad I went. Even if I didn't get a sliver of work done.

A quick lesson to you all when having a tequila stuntman: when you can't squeeze the juice out of the lemon, just rub it in your eye. It works just as well.

I'm going to bed now, being conscious is starting to hurt.

PLENTY of notice

Thanksgiving is in about 5-ish weeks. If you're going to be in Albia, which I would assume most of you will be - give me a call. I haven't gone home yet (and I'm about to lose my fucking mind partly because of it) and Thanksgiving might be my only chance. It's been pretty rough with me taking 20 hours of difficult classes and working.
Anyway, as you should all know if you've read anything I've posted in the last 3 months; I'm leaving for the Navy in January. I'd like to see you all before I go (Nick and Mau, I know this probably won't happen, but that's that I suppose) But for those of you still in the actual state of Iowa (and Dave if you come back at either T-giving or Christmas which I just assumed and hoped you would) please see me. I can't even begin to describe how much that would mean to me. I'd like to have pictures of and with everyone before I go. I hope that this isn't too much to ask.
It might be your last chance to see me for 6 years.

That's why I'm posting this now, is because I want to give everyone plenty of notice and maybe get something planned if possible. If not, well - I tried.
Much love to all, and hopefully things are going well.

MIA

0 days since DaveO's last post.
4 days since Nick's last post.
9 days since Tim's last post.
19 days since Kellynn's last post.
25 days since Mau's last post.
28 days since Kevin's last post.
33 days since Cricket's last post.
58 days since Martin's last post.
60 days since Kenny's last post.
80 days since Andy's last post.
131 days since Monki's last post.
153 days since William's last post.
205 days since Shawk's last post.

ARE YOU READY TO RELEASE YOUR INNER DESTRUCTION?!

ARE YOU READY? READY TO RELEASE THE FURY? THEN STEP UP TO THE LINE! CAPS LOCK IT, BITCH! GRAB YOUR BAT! LOCK AND LOAD! FINAL CHECK! WAITER, PLEASE! LATE-THIRTY! BALLS TO THE WALLS, FACE DOWN ASS UP, STRAP YOUR BOOTS, LIGHT THE FIRES, DIG A HOLE! UNSHEATH THE SWORD! SSJ30BILLION! THE WORLD WILL EXPLODE IN 3 MINUTES! PLAYER I START, MOTHER FUCKER! ENGLISH, DO YOU SPEAK IT?! DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?! PUMP IT UP! PUMP IT THE FUCK UP! ARE YOU READY TO RELEASE THAT FUCKIN' BULL IN THE CHINA SHOP, SON? ARE YOU READY TO BE MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR AND SAY "HEY! STOP FUCKING SPITTING ON ME!" THE A-T FIELD IS DOWN! INDIGINOUS DOGMA BLOCKERS ARE AT 34%! ARE YOU READY TO NOT GIVE UP THE BACK SEAT ON THAT BUS? ARE YOU READY TO KILL SOME BRITISH FUCKS FOR BANGING OUT THE SCOTTISH BLOODLINE?! GET THE FUCK OFF MY OBSTACLE! BODY MASSAGE MACHINE GO! WHO WANTS COFFEE!? WELL, SURFS UP SPACE PONIES! I'M MAKING LUMPS WITHOUT THE GRAVY! CAPS LOCK!


...for fuck's sake! Someone post besides me.

Old as the Internets!

Running in the 90s! Isn't new where you like to be!

So what has been happening in Davetown since that whole "not being an RA" situation?

City of Villains. (Pocket Orca and Gutz De Tse)
Courting. (and it's pseudo effective, too!)
Working. (shitacular)

Pretty exciting, huh.

OH! NICK! There is a live action version of Cromartie High School. It's pretty much all the cartoons compressed into 2 hours of japanese action. Well worth watching, plus the import has an english subtitle (actual english, too, and not the "Why you do this?!" sorta crap).

I need to go to bed-pooh.

No Post for Days!

Officials in the Des Moines area are baffled at the lack of post on popular blog site "Attic Apartment". While some speculate that it was a cult that finally met it's Heaven's Gate ending, others believe it was alien abduction. When long term friend and "Attic Apartment" flunky Nick was reached in his posh Florida estate he had only this to say, "They're all drunk and sleeping it off. You'll see. They'll all be back by next Friday."