The Attic Apartment: May 2010 - Ahead in the polls

I'll go for the gross-out post

Not too gross, though:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1218927/Plumber-shattered-arm-left-horrifically-bent-shape-operation-cancelled-times.html

Flea Market Montgomery

Sammy Stephens knows of the existence of my horrible video.

Now I can start collecting my internet money.

babies

Think about this video the next time you want to have sex:

So... Do I merge left or right?

I feel like the blog has turned into a place for crazy news from our respective states.

Millions of them.

Scotcharoos

Remember back in the day when Tim's mom used to make those rice krispies treats with peanut butter, caramel and chocolate on top. If you didn't get to enjoy this treats then your loss. Well my work place changed their vending machines over to some different guys because the ones we had sucked. Like green mold on the sandwiches suck. So these new guys have a better grade of food, and snacks, so in the sandwich machine there are these krispie treats of heavenly goodness. I think I've eaten the entire stock myself. Not all at once, mind you, but I've not seen anyone else buy any. Don't care. If I did, I would attack them like a crazed spider monkey on crack and eat it from there cold dead fingers. They say you can never go home again but you can go back to Tim's for a price from the snack machine. Your childhood memories are only worth a dollar to me Tim. But a tasty dollar well spent and eaten in secret.

On a side note. I unloaded a truck that smelled of damp wood that reminds me of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride at Disney World every time I drive inside. I love when that truck comes. But then you get the odd truck that smells like a empty dorm fridge that used to be home to only a pack of American cheese over summer break. It was driven by a female trucker. I think my boss nailed her. Not a joke. He's just that smooth.

Google

I started thinking about this video again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFE2CCfAP1o

Red Dead Redemption

Better than Borderlands. SUCK ON THAT!!!

Mordor Hands

Now that a majority of us have Borderlands (Hoarderclams, Solderstands, Boulderjams, Foldershams) there should be some sort of internet party.

What's that? You don't have Borderlands, or an Xbox 360? You are not invited to our elitist party.

Big, Sappy Va-Jayjay

I'll admit to something: my attitude this weekend has been piss poor and lousy. What was it over? I really can't say because I have had FAR too many complications online when I explain my personal life in great detail.

Anyway, here's a picture I commissioned someone to do. Here is a link to their work.

Your updated balance is zero

I also considered titling this post thus:

Fruit cup.

That's what I'm eating right now. Guess the fruit. The answer will be revealed at the end of this post.

You might wonder why I'm eating a fruit cup. I'm eating it because on the way to work I took the wrong road and missed Chick-Fil-A and my standard Saturday morning sausage breakfast burrito with jalapeno salsa. (It's really very good.) You might wonder why I'm working on a Saturday morning. It's because we offer a small course some Saturday mornings. I will probably be working a lot of Saturday mornings now because my coworker, who has been here longer than me and is the other half of my team, has made known her intention to leave in just under two weeks.

In some ways I'm excited. It's like I've cut off her head and blue electricity has streamed out and into me and now there can be only one who makes determinations about which classes we offer and when. But on the other hand, I'm the one who has to teach all those classes (some of which involve numbers). Horse Academy is in a hiring freeze or I'd, you know, fish for people to come work with me. That and Sarah and I are talking as always of leaving this peninsula for the cold embrace of Minneapolis or the porny embrace of San Francisco.

But to get back to Saturday mornings: they're pretty good. The office is mostly empty and until the class at 10:30 I can sit here visiting sites that aren't blocked by our campus's ridiculous web traffic blocker (Attic Apartment, for example, is deemed to be just too bloated with sex). At 10:30 (that's 9:30 for most of you) I'll go to our room and either two people will be there or no one will be there. If no one's there, they'll show up Monday and tell me they waited all morning for me. Where? I'll say. At the bus stop. Over on 50. Why at the bus stop? I'll say. No one told us not to.

Anyway, enough of that. The other thing I wanted to tell you about was the library here. I think I've talked about this before and Nick knows about it but: the library here will deliver books to your home! They come to me by courier sometimes. This isn't something I want to happen, but it's the only way to receive a book on which you've placed a hold. So yesterday afternoon when I got back to the building these books were waiting for me in this blue wrappings:

http://www.amazon.com/Although-Course-You-Becoming-Yourself/dp/030759243X/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1273931918&sr=8-4

http://www.amazon.com/Bitter-Seeds-Ian-Tregillis/dp/0765321505/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1273931939&sr=1-1

Both exciting. I started reading the first and it's pretty good but probably wouldn't be interesting for people not interested in the person. I'm only somewhat interested and, appropriately, the book is only somewhat interesting to me.

answer: epuoletnac

On the move

Hello all, just to let all the folks know, I'll be in [almost] everyone's areas within the next few months.

California - more specifically San Diego from July 10-26-ish.
Florida - July 29 - August 19.
Iowa- sometime after August 19 and before September 1st, then again in October.

I haven't seen most of you in a really long time, and if I can catch anyone during my travels, that would be awesome.

highlighter

My desk phone blinked red with a missed call and when I searched the
number one result was for Tranny Meetup.

Did a tranny want to meet up with me? No. Some of the digits were off.

Apparently the internet wanted to introduce transexuals into my life,
however. To meet up with me.

I was thinking when I woke up about how younger generations are
spoiled on video games. Now you can realistically fire a shotgun at
some zombies or pilot a stolen convertible off the roof of an office
building. I mean we can do these things too but we had to pay our dues
shooting beeping rifles at two-colored bad guys that looked made of
LEGOs or later we could bounce around firing cat heads into the sky.

Happy Hour Before Tuesday!

Lost will be done soon, and people will finally talk about real conspiracies.

It's Caturday

Post some effin' cats.

This video is large and in charge of the barge with over lays and nonsense.

I went and saw Iron Man 2. I was disappointed. They turned Alfred into a computer, they totally wrote out Jack Napier being the one to kill Stark's parents, and there were nipples on the suits.

Don't watch it. Unless you like robots.

Orlando News Roundup

Marijuana: http://www.clickorlando.com/news/23487972/detail.html

Fireball (that Sarah and I drove by):
http://www.clickorlando.com/news/23492474/detail.html

Well fuck... read Eberts review the other day in the paper regaurding "Death at a Funeral". Don't agree with him on a lot of movie reviews but I still consider his reviews when wondering what to expect and foreign flicks were always a thing for him, so when he puts praise into the new version being better than the British version says alot. I was wrong, this isn't another George Lucas blunder, I guess. Go see it. The original was funny so this new one must be fucking hilarious. I know I will. If I can find the time and/or money after I spend it all on Iron Man 2 shit. I will become Tony Stark some day.

How the Eff

And then there is this asshole. He climbed 3 stories (THREE STORIES) to get into my bedroom and freak me the eff out. I mean, come on!

He is now a smear on the wall, due to my shoe. He was only really an inch long.

Like someone we know.

...and you know who I'm referring to.

Amish.

Machete

You may have already seen this elsewhere on the internet:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKhChMHhBN8&feature=player_embedded

booze and the video games

Man, maybe it's just that I'm a major lush, but that site Nick linked
to below has led me down the motherfucking rabbit hole. I'm now
lusting over Space Invaders rocks glasses that are sold out on Etsy
and after Atari shotglasses on Think Geek (as well as after a
thermally affected Pac-Man-ripoff coffee mug). And some of the
cocktails look delicious; for example:

http://www.thedrunkenmoogle.com/post/224356872/frog-chrono-trigger-cocktail-ingredients-2-cl

My sister gave my parents some cash for a ritzy dinner while they're
here and tonight we hit up a fish restaurant that S and I have been
curious about for a while. My father even tried sashimi, although only
a little. S and I had: a lot.

For Tim and his parents to do this week.

Gato (Chrono Trigger Cocktail)

Ingredients:

2 cl Sake
2 cl Soutern Comfort
2 cl Xante
4 cl Vodka
1 cl Lime Juice

Directions: Shake with ice and pour into a highball glass. Use a lemon wedge as a garnish.

“They Call me Gato I have metal joints Beat me up And get 15 silver points”

Found this little diddy at the Drunken Moogle. Nostalgia Bombed on the bathroom floor. GATO PUNCH!

Today in History: 2003

Kellynn and Michelle cleaned the skank out of the Attic Apartment.

Garbage Day

Today was graduation day. I had to show up at 9:30 to check in staff
members, none of whom showed up until about 10:15. The ceremony
started at 1 pm and big hordes were still coming in festooned with
balloons for their Horse Academy graduation forty-five minutes later.
Seating was incredibly cramped and although people were issued tickets
beforehand, a lot of people showed up with 15 or 20 people instead of
the six they were signed up for. But here's why I decided to post: one
woman went to the bathroom and when she came back her unassigned seat
had been taken. In response, she called the police. When the cops
showed up they took her out to the lobby and asked to see where she'd
been struck, because they thought someone must have been struck for
them to have been called. No, a seat was taken.